The not so fun stuff of parenting....

Okay so here it is, it's the stuff we hate doing. When your child acts up in public it's a hard situation to handle. What do you do? Your put on the spot and your anger usually gets the best of you. You want to remain calm, but other's are watching and your child is screaming in the aisle at the supermarket and everyone stops to stare or shakes their head. You  utter to your child to stop, but to no prevail he or she gets louder and the tantrum gets worse. So what do you do? Thats the question I have asked myself many times before. I've tried to laugh it off and ignore it and smile at the  strangers who walk by my cart, but nothing had ever seemed to work and you get in your car feeling as if you failed yourself in some way..... So with the research I've gathered I've learned a lot about disciplining and spanking and with the knowledge Ive gathered I can confidently say if it ever happens again I will know how to handle the situation and what actions to take.

The first  thing I learned was by my parents as teachers guidance director, and it was always the thing i had heard from elders and experienced mothers so when I became a new mother i knew it was the most important thing I had ever learned and it was always the hardest rule to follow : Once you make a Rule or a promise stick to it! This goes for any situation. I have always felt like this is the key to making your child listen by having rules to follow, and sticking by these rules your child will respect you and know what boundaries he or she must abide by. For instance my son was playing outside and he was going in the neighbor's yard, and I kept telling him to stay in our yard or we were going inside and no more playing, but I did not stick by this rule and I kept yelling at him to come over to our yard and  he would not listen because he knew I was all bark and no bite. If I would of immediately stuck to the rule and once he went out of the yard I should of told him once and if he did not follow that rule consequences should of been taken, hence me taking him inside.

This goes for the same thing in public, your child acts up and you tell him/her to stop or you will leave the supermarket immediately. If you have to come back at a later time then do it, this will teach your child you mean business and they will abide by your rules, if for instance you are in a restaurant with a group of friends or family and your child has a tantrum the best discipline would be to take your child to the bathroom and explain to him/her that their actions were wrong and use the time out method. I have had to hold my child in time-out for roughly 15 minutes....... but it worked. We walked back to our table and apoligized to our friends/family and my child was calm and had no more tantrums for the rest of the dinner.

When disciplining your child follow these tips:

• Set clear boundaries for your child and let him know ahead of time what is expected of him.

• Stay calm, firm and consistent when disciplining and setting boundaries. Remember that each child has different temperaments and developmental styles. A firm look may be sufficient for some children while others need to hear a strong tone of voice.

• Correct your child's poor behavior without criticizing or belittling her as a person.

• Praise good behavior by providing positive reinforcement. Most children want to receive praise. If they know you will praise their good behavior, then they are more likely to follow the boundaries set for them.

*Offer rewards or incentives for good behavior. One example is to offer a small reward at the end of the outing that is earned by following the rules. :)

Spanking?? Is it okay? In a recent study taken by 50 moms, 40 moms admitted to spanking their children and have admitted to taking it further by slapping and hitting their children. A researcher and professor  named George Holden who studies parenting and child development recently did a study about spanking and found that children who are spanked on occasion are not thought to be impacted later in life, but parents who spank regularly the children are more likely to have behavorial problems in the future. Mom and dads who spank on a regular basis do so because they genuinely believe it works and research actually does show spanking works "short-term", but beyond that studies show its ineffective and children learn to use aggression. "Hitting teaches that it is okay to turn violent when you're mad, which is not a lesson" says Dr. Holden.

It is a personal perference in each home, and each child is different and parenting  works different for every mother and father, but I strongly believe a few rules will help us all to better discipline our children and effectively improve our bad habits. This is a big problem of mine and I react to a reaction by giving into the wrong thing, and thus we can't learn how to be better parents without learning from those mistakes. So I can say that all those embarassing public outtings have successfully helped me to discipline effectively in public for the future. I have reached my own conclusion about spanking and can now create some diverse techniques and boundaries for disciplining and hopefully our home will be better because of it :)

p.s. for anyone that may read this that is not a parent due to the nature that this is my "beauty blog" hope you realize parenting is a huge responsibility and gain  some insight for parenting when the time is right for you!! :)

If you would like more information on this topic you can read more: How to Discipline Children in Public | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2038237_discipline-children-public.html#ixzz1qqfBdQQt